“Dejeuner Sur l’Herbe” by Edouard Manet
I’ve spoken about my own paranormal experiences related to sex on some podcasts, but wanted to write up a summary here so it will be easier for people to access. Through my research and people who have shared their stories with me, it’s apparent that these type of experiences are not uncommon. My aim in sharing my stories and research is to help people reach their own understanding of these events; to encourage them in pursuing relationships which are uplifting and bring them joy; and to help people avoid abusive, manipulative or unpleasant entanglements.
There’s a couple of main points I’d like to emphasize at the start. First, I’ve been the recipient of subtle plane erotic attention that was undertaken in a cold blooded manner, that which was informed by studious esoteric practice, that which unfolded unconsciously and spontaneously through overflowing emotion, and various combinations of all these. It seems that while occult training will facilitate these experiences, it’s by no means a prerequisite, and even someone quite adept can be swept along new paths when their heart leads the way. I have no sympathy for unscrupulous gurus and psychic stalkers, but I would like to argue for sympathy in the case of the besotted and lovelorn. Falling in love is notorious for awakening dormant aspects of ourselves previously unsuspected, and it takes time and practice to learn control of these new faculties.
When I was a young girl, I was subject to sexual attention from men and boys. I first remember a grown man talking about how beautiful and sexually appealing I was when I was around 8, though I’d had teens and younger boys address me in this way from the time I was 6 or so. Most worrying to me were the half dozen abduction attempts which occurred between the ages of around 11-17 (grown men following me in cars trying to lure me in when I was out walking on my own). This was in the 1970’s in the greater SF Bay Area, where later on so many prominent abductions and disappearances took place. When I was about 14, one man was so persistent and scared me so much that when a strange woman pulled up next to me and asked if I was being harassed I got in her car to escape.
That man drove the same type of car as, looked like, and most strikingly had the same voice and speech pattern as the man who kept Jaycee Lee Dugard captive for decades in Antioch CA, an hour from where this took place in Castro Valley. Ironically, his wife participated in his criminal activities but fortunately for me the woman who saved me was the mom of a school friend.
Fortunately, in addition to these dangerous and inappropriate attentions, I knew some truly inspirational and wonderful guys who admired and supported me selflessly. It’s thanks to them I didn’t become jaded, paranoid or bitter.
My love of nature and it’s scientific study began when I was a young girl as well. This of course includes the theory of evolution and ecology, both of which give great insight into the mysteries of sex. In college I studied anthropology, and the ways in which societies try to corral the force of the erotic to their own ends – and continued my love of mythology, which chronicles the many ways in which cultures fail to tame that beast of sex.
When I was 21, I had a near death experience during a medical procedure (I was in convulsions for twenty minutes). During this NDE I was contacted by non physical teaching entities, with whom I have been in contact ever since (I am now 57). I received spiritual transmission as well as verbal teachings for specific practices. I began regularly walking, practicing compassion with others, and mindfulness meditation.
In my early thirties, a broken engagement led to me moving into a Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Center, where I lived for a couple of years. I met and began seeing a woman trained in North American shamanic traditions. She ran a sweat lodge every month which with I helped. I also began sitting with Leslie Temple Thurston, a spiritual teacher who at the time visited the Bay Area every month or two for a weekend, where she’d lead two day 8 hour meditation/talks for a couple of hundred students.
Suddenly I was meditating a lot, being around some powerful teachers, and around a lot of other seekers. This is when I started having explicitly erotic paranormal experiences.
As it turned out, the Rinpoche at the MC was approaching female students in dreams, offering spiritual bonus points if they’d have sex with him on the sly. I noticed a lot of sex-tinged-skeeve in the air but couldn’t put my finger on exactly what was up. Then I had a very clear dream where I was in my room and Rinpoche walked in and i woke myself straight up. If was very fraught, and afterwards Rinpoche treated me with much more respect. But I was still flummoxed.
Finally, a fellow student told me of a dream where Rinpoche offered her spiritual mojo for secret sex and I had a clear picture of what was going on (read about these events here). What struck me was how clearly Rinpoche came through on the dream plane, and how it was so businesslike – though in the physical world Rinpoche made a number of advances towards me. It also made me think of the many people in alien abduction scenarios who are told by the abductors that they have agreed in the past to their abusive treatment at the hands of the aliens.
At the same time, I was undergoing an apprenticeship of sorts with the shaman. Now, traditional shamanic training is very physically rigorous, understandably as the practices themselves are so. However, while I have certain spiritual talents and abilities, my body is on the frail side. The shaman was enchanted, and responded to my spiritual talents, which is how I found out that transmission of esoteric knowledge can occur through sexual congress. But be warned: all your fellow students will despise you, and your initiatrix may regret the consequent drama and take it out on you.
In this same time frame, I had the first of a number of experiences which I’ve come to understand as an empathic resonance with a person having an erotic dream about me. I would wake up suddenly out of a dead sleep to the feeling of being touched all over with an erotic charge. Strangely, it would feel directed at me but also very unconscious or asleep. I had no idea from whom these impressions were emanating, so I got in the habit of asking: “Who are you?” during the experience. I’ve had dozens and dozens of instances since that first one, and in about a third of them the next day someone unexpected will express a strong romantic/sexual interest in me. (I discuss these experiences in this Project Archivist show, which also covers telepathic empathy and my NDE).
I noticed a number of paranormal events related to these romantic relationships which were not strictly erotic. I have had many premonitions related to romantic interests, as well as poltergeist type phenomenon (including objects moving without apparent cause). When I was seeing the shaman, I was working in a shop in a small business park. 4-5 times when we were involved, a small blackbird would walk in the open door, walk over and look at me, and walk out. I worked there for several years, we had blackbirds around the whole time, but they only entered the shop when I was seeing this shaman. The birds never panicked, or tried to fly out the big windows, as you would expect. When I asked the shaman about this, she admitted to shapeshifting (while blushing).
Now, at this point I tumbled to much sex magic and how it was accomplished. You could put the adept, conscious communication together with the erotic physical sensations and transmission of esoteric gnosis and have a full blown mystical union with someone on the other side of the world, who had crossed over the boundary of life and death, or a being not even human. And, through later research, I found that this is exactly what many people have reported through millenia.
My own experiences have persuaded me that, while training and practice facilitate free communication between two parties of an erotic/telepathic/empathic/gnostic nature, the key to it all lies in the awakening of erotic love. I believe that the reason I would be aware of people’s dreams of me in my early thirties, instead of in my mid twenties when I would be considered more conventionally attractive, is because I had developed my empathic/psychic abilities through practice. However, I also believe (due to experience in consensus reality) that I was truly picking up on other people’s experiences and feelings. And that those feelings, which drive us towards union with the other, provided the surge of energy needed to bridge the gap between beings.
Many paranormal researchers promote the idea that, for example, succubus and incubus experiences are all tulpas generated by lonely experiencers. I see no reason why this could not occur. But, when you have confirmation of paranormally obtained information in the outer world, related to specific individuals, and this happens numerous times – it seems farcical to deny other beings the agency and ability to act, the ability to affect you.*** In possession of a certain set of experiences, it’s just easier to believe in other people and intelligences acting in various realms – though of course without those experiences, you may well demur.
I only ask that you keep an open mind.
Many thanks to RH and WHAM for inspiring me to write this piece.
***This conviction of mine – that paranormal experiences can indeed involve and affect other people – is why this chronicle of my paranormally erotic experiences ends decades ago instead of continuing to the present day. I hope it provides helpful context for others.